Most family business founders ask the wrong question about the next generation. "How much should we give them?" That's not the question.
My grandfather built a real estate business from nothing. He never sat us down and talked about money. Instead, he and my parents made us do chores. In the summers, we gardened with my dad — on our knees, in the dirt.
I spent summers visiting the properties with my grandfather. I didn't always understand what we were looking at. That wasn't the point.
My parents showed up. They drove us to swim practice at 5am. This built lifelong habits. I still wake up at 5am to swim (but now I've just added surfing to the swimming).
My family lived and breathed hard work and kaizen. Continuous improvement. Not a goal. A way of living. My parents and grandfather never explained it. They just demonstrated it — every day, in small ways, for years.
Here's what I've realized: The families that lose it all in the third generation didn't fail because they gave their kids too much money. They failed because they focused on the money instead of the values. Wealth is easy to transfer. Work ethic isn't. Grit isn't. The ability to delay gratification, show up when it's hard, and find meaning in the process — you can't wire that to someone.
You have to model it. My parents weren't perfect. But they understood this intuitively. They gave us less so we could become more. So, the question isn't how much to give your kids. The question is: what are you showing them every day?
And curious to get others' take on this, who shaped you and what do you remember now most as an adult? (humbly taking parenting notes for myself!)
Blast tax: my parents got me started with the briefcase young!
